Super Rush Limbaugh Saving America

While President Obama does everything he thinks will prevent the American financial system, as well as the automobile industry, from falling apart, Rush Limbaugh tries to save us by telling America that Obama and the Democrats are going to ruin the country. According to Rush, his ear shattering and mind bending voice is all that stands between us and doom. Like the Minutemen of yore, who shouted the British are coming, Rush Limbaugh keeps shouting socialism is coming. If he keeps shouting long enough there's no doubt he'll be right.

Rush keeps reminding us that the American way of life and everything it stands for is going over the cliff in a sea of Democratic Socialism. The word liberalism has long since been abandoned and Rush has cut to the heart of the matter. Rush's vast experience in implementing legislation in economic crises marks him as a single person to lead us out of the economic wilderness. Like Moses before him, Rush only has tap his staff are on the rock and credit will be gushing forth. If he raises his hands to the heavens, AAA bonds and preferred stocks will rain upon the people until they are buried with the paper.

After decades of advising men such as Paul Volker and Alan Greenspan, Rush is in the best possible position to know what monetary policies to implement. After inking a $400 million contract for himself, it should be no problem for Roche to come up with several trillion dollars for the rest of America. Wait a minute. That's not the American way. Americans don't accept handouts and give-outs, Americans do it on their own, without any help from anyone else. Haven't you ever seen a John Wayne movie before? But Rush is there for us. No job? No problem. Rush will help you out. No money? No problem. The Rush will help you out. No hope? No problem. Rush will help you out. No OxyContin? Oops! Wrong subject.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a Bird! It's Superman! No! It's Super Rush Limbaugh flying high forever.