Thursday, January 8, 2009

Dick Cheney to be Appointed Ambassador to Klingon Empire

In his greatest display of bipartisanship, President Barack Obama announced today that Vice President Cheney would be appointed as the permanent Ambassador to the Klingon Empire. William Shatner was reported to be upset because he wasn't consulted about this appointment. A representative for President-elect Obama said it was fitting for Vice President Cheney to fill this important post even though it was hundreds of light years from Earth. The Klingons were reportedly delighted that Cheney would receive this appointment because they greatly admire his management style and skills and approach to handling people. Mrs. Cheney said she was looking forward to living on Klingon where she could eat blood worms and other rare delicacies unavailable on this planet.

Former secretary of defense, Donald Rumsfeld, was considered for this appointment, but his decision to spend the rest of his life at a monastery high in the Tibetan Himalayas made such an appointment in possible. The Klingons expect that Vice President Cheney will be the helpful in their tactical negotiations with the Romulan Empire. Both the Klingons and the Romulans have had a long history of bomb first, talk later diplomacy. The Klingons felt that Cheney's background in this type of interplanetary diplomacy would be extremely useful. Vice president Cheney is also expected to provide expertise in the art of persuading prisoners of war to voluntarily tell everything they know with a minimum of damage to their central nervous system.

This is expected to be the first of many such appointments by President-elect Obama. President Bush is being considered as Ambassador to the Vulcans so that he may be able to share his advanced meditative practices. Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, is reported to be interested in being ambassador to the Borg. After working within the Bush administration for eight years, working with the Borg should be a piece of cake according to an administrative insider.


Anonymous said...

Actually, Cheney would be more at home on the Death Star.

Qat'iy said...

I agree! Klingons also value HONOR, of which Cheney has NONE. Klingons have come to the rescue of Federation ships in distress, and are an excellent ALLY to the Federation---they worked with the Feds during the Dominion War. They WERE enemies a long time ago, but no longer--HONOR has won out with fine leadership like Martok's. Martok would most likely throw Dick Cheney out an airlock }}}-D!!!!!!

Darth Cheney is a much more accurate description of Cheney, and yes, he is of the Daaarrrkkk Siiiiiiide!!