Havoc Studios announced that its $150 million remake of the classic Alexandra Dumas novel, the three musketeers, will have an all-star cast. Newt Gingrich will play Athos, Dick Cheney will play Aramis, and Rush Limbaugh will play Porthos. The studio was excited that Karl Rove would be the dynamic and exciting young d'Artagnan. Nancy Pelosi will take time off from her duties as speaker of the house to play the important role of Milady de Winter, wife of Athos, reuniting her with her longtime close friend, Newt Gingrich. A major coup for the studio was the casting of Bill Clinton as Cardinal Richelieu. All other members of the cast greeted Clinton's towering presence as the Cardinal with unanimous acclaim.
The Olympic fencing teams from Russia, Poland, and hungry will act as the soldiers for the King and the Cardinal instead of the usual bunch of klutzes who get cut to pieces by the musketeers. This will ensure dynamic and exciting fencing scenes throughout the movie. Gingrich, Cheney, Limbaugh and Rove said they were excited about having the opportunity to clash sabers with Olympic caliber fencers.
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