Saturday, April 25, 2009

Dick Cheney to Star in a New Zombie Movie

Newton Dimworthy, chief publicist for Wildly Weird Movies, recently confirmed that Dick Cheney would be starring in a new zombie movie to be released by November 2009. The tentative title for the new movie is The Beast That Would Never Die and Couldn't Be Killed. Mr. Dimworthy said that Dick Cheney was a natural for the role given his experience during the Bush presidency and his continued defense of its blunders. Wildly Weird Movies was responsible for the box office smash hits Winning the Iraq War in 100 Days and Human Rights Advocacy at Guantánamo.

Mr. Cheney was unavailable for comment about the new movie at this time. However, his press secretary, Insidious Disinformation, stated that the former vice president would be holding a press conference in the near future at which time he would talk about the new movie and eat all Democrats in sight. The former vice president has been making the rounds of the talk shows, mainly on Fox news, The Republican Broadcasting Network, citing the successes of the Bush administration and pointing out how President Obama is leading the nation to into greater peril each day. The former vice president was particularly incensed about President Obama's willingness to talk to the leaders of European nations, who Mr. Cheney had characterized as a bunch of pansies in the past.

With his newfound popularity, the former vice president may be able to stop traveling around in an armored Brinks car, and use a regular automobile. Who knows, he may even be able to purchase one from Detroit if any of the automakers are still functioning

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